I know, I know, I know. Supernatural came back three weeks ago. As much as I like this show, It’s always kind of sat on the back burner of the queue. It’s one of the few shows that I will come in and out of during a season. This is rare, typically I’m all or nothing. I’m not sure why I’m like this with Supernatural. Perhaps it’s because I like Dean Winchester more than I like Supernatural; I’m somewhat more invested in his relationship with Castiel than with Sam. Maybe it’s the lack of women. For whatever reason, it’s just not priority viewing, but it is steadfast entertainment (perhaps because I’m not overly invested in it).
I Think I’m Gonna Like it Here
Welcome to the premier of season nine of Supernatural. In which: we find Dean worried about Sam, per usual; we find Sam in a coma near death, per usual; we find Castiel freaking people out with his weird honesty, per usual. The tropes are in place, shall we begin? Good.
It’s the day after all of the angels fell out of heaven, thanks to Castiel’s dup by Metatron (worst angel name ever!). Sam is in a coma, and the doctors have done all they can do for him. Dean goes to the chapel to pray to Castiel, who he doesn’t realize no longer possesses his “grace”, as Metatron took it from him to slam shut the gates of heaven. In desperation Dean sends out a message to anyone listening on “angel radio”. This calls to him an angel in a business suit who beats him up for Cas’ location (the angels are feeling a bit revenge-y). It also calls to him Helo (Tahmoh Penikett) from Battlestar Galactica who goes by the name Ezekiel (considering Starbuck’s fate, how awesome would it have been if Katee Sackhoff showed up? I mean, talk about a chick who could give Dean a run for his money. Okay now I really want Ms. Sackhoff on Supernatural.). Anyway Helo’s all peace, love, and fried chicken, and his cadence is kind of annoying and mannered. Be that as it may he offers to use what power he has left to heal Sam.
Sam, in his coma, is having imaginary conversations with “Dean” and “Bobby” (hi Bobby!) while driving down the road in the Impala. “Dean” represents the part of Sam who wants to fight to live. “Bobby” represents the part of Sam who wants to just lay down and be at peace. “Bobby” and Sam zap to some sun-drenched wood where “Bobby” walks him to a cabin all the while telling him it’s okay to give up. Outside said cabin “Dean” shows back up and stabs “Bobby” who disappears. “Dean” in turn beats the crap out of Sam. Sam tells himself in the guise of Dean that he’s ready to die. “Dean” disappears and Sam walks into the cabin. Who should be waiting for him, but Death himself. When he learned that Sam is the one about to move on, he felt it warranted his presence instead of one of his reaper-minions (I wonder did he show up every time Sam died?). While I’m wondering how we’re supposed to care that Sam is about to die, again, Sam himself asks Death to guarantee that this time, his death is permanent.
Castiel is out wandering the highways of Colorado. He gets picked up by a trucker (not like that), and taken to a pay phone. A biker is using the pay phone and when Castiel tells him to get off the line or he’ll hurt him, he realizes he’s lost his grace, and thus can’t mind-whammy the guy. Despondent he begins to walk away when a girl named Hael (Grace Phipps) walks up to him, remembering him from Heaven, as she’s another fallen angel. (So that’s where April‘s been hiding! And, is it just me or does she look pregnant?) Castiel is all consoling, and gives her the free-will spiel. When asked where she wants to go, Hael mentions that she just so happens to have created the Grand Canyon and would like to see it. Cas gets on the phone to tell Dean his travel plans, when Dean fills him in on Sam in a coma, and the bounty on his head. When Cas calls off his plans to take Hale to Arizona, she bonks him over the head with a 2 x 4. (She’s not out for revenge per se, she just wants to posses or maybe co-habitate in Castiel’s body, since her vessel is weak and deteriorating). Cas comes to in an SUV speeding down the highway, and having watched a few movies, buckles his seat belt and crashes the car, sending Hale flying through the windshield. In a truly cheesy practical effect, she’s sitting on the ground, her legs all kinds of broken, and starts threatening to tell all the angels where Cas is, so he stabs her with the angel stab-y weapon thing. He heads off to a laundry mat to clean his blood encrusted clothing, and after getting all naked, he spies the vending machine. With a mournful look at his suit and trench coat, he uses the few monies he has left to buy a bottle of water (seriously there’s no water facet nearby?), and steals a hoodie and jeans so he can attend to his basic human needs. (Moment of silence for the trench coat – I will miss you).
Back at the hospital Helo’s efforts are to no avail, he’s too weak, and Sam is too far gone. The angels are also descending, and when Dean goes out hero it up, they find him and beat him up, because it’s not an episode of Supernatural if the boys aren’t cut and bleeding. They threaten Sam’s life for the location of Castiel. Dean writes a glyph on the floor with his blood and blasts them out of their vessels. He returns to Helo and Sam, where Helo discloses that there are no good solutions left. Of course, Dean asks about the bad solutions. Helo can posses Sam, and heal the both of them over time. To prove that Sam’s about to go, Helo puts Dean is Sam’s mind, so that Dean can overhear Sammy’s conversation with Death about being dead for real this time. This is enough to convince Dean that Helo is his brother’s only hope. With the possession in place, Sam as Ezekiel and Dean walk away from the hospital. Zeke convinces Dean to keep this a secret from Sam, because if Sam becomes unconsensual, Zeke will get kicked out, and Sam will die. After hemming and hawing and dealing with honesty and trust issues, Dean accepts the plan for now.
We’re back in the Impala headed down an endless stretch of anonymous highway when Sam comes to with no memory of anything past the angel meteor shower.
Bottom Line: I Am Amused
Even long in the tooth, Supernatural is an entertaining show. I do find Dean and Sam’s weird co-dependent and yet awesome love for each other, complete with trust issues, a bit redone. However, if it ends with our boy Jensen Ackles crying his manly tears, it’s worth it. I don’t believe I’ll be reviewing this show on a regular basis, but I will be watching. Probably off and on as I’m want to do.